Entry title:
Date / Time : Friday, February 05, 2010 / 8:10 AM
IM LEAVING ON A JET PLANE
Yes I am finally leaving tomorrow, somehow it feels like I was never back. Hmm. Nevertheless, I am going to miss home, regardless. =(
Adelaide is hot like fuck now, that's one thing why I don't wanna go back, sides that, I have not gotten any reply from anyone on my job prospect yet. Sigh.
Anyhow, I am dead bored now. Shall sleep and get ready for tomorrow, what shall I wear??
ps some people don't know how to look at themselves before pointing fingers at others
Entry title:
Date / Time : Thursday, January 07, 2010 / 8:10 AM
IT'S NEVER ENOUGH, IT'S NEVER RIGHT...
hey guys! happy new year. Sorry have not been blogging much, been a bit tied up for the past few days. Yes I am back in KL now, I am kind of grounded. Sigh. Long story.
Anywhooo, my Christmas and New Years Eve celebration was rather, hmm, how should I decribe it, rather mellow? Rather quiet and totally a different scene. Nope, no clubbing, nope not getting drunk, and yes I know, you can't believe it right. Oh well.
My New Years was "fucking" great start, note the " "...and from there till now, I honestly can tell you I am not enjoying one bit at all. It is not all cause I am grounded, but yeah, other things as well. Oh well.
Have you guys encounter problems like, when you are trying to change yourself from before, people tend to always bring the past back to you, when you are trying to run away from it? When you try to prove yourself you are changing and they doubt you so badly, that you think "what's the point"?
It is so frustrating isn't it? Everytime there is a constant pull that tries to make you fail? Sickening isn't it?
I don't get it, when the world wants us to change, but yet, still undoubtly wants us to fail, then why bother asking us to? and the fact that we do want to change for the better, and yet, they still want us to fail
So what now? Do we continute even though the world looks at us like that? Or do we just remain as how we are and let them accept us for who we are???
Entry title: STILL AM...
Date / Time : Wednesday, December 23, 2009 / 7:50 AM
Why do I still feel so uneasy? I know it had been over a few days ago, but I stumble on something else accidentally, and I had all these questions coming in again.
It's like, I am being suck in in a whirl pool, and then suck out to the real world, and then, being suck in again. My head is going in circles, I want to stop this questions slamming into my head, but how?
Entry title: AS WE BID OUR GOOBYES...
Date / Time : / 4:55 AM
Had a goodbye dinner the other day at Mel's, it was great. Us girls were reminiscing about our first days in LCB and always in Adelaide, about the crazy stuffs we did, drink, drunk party and so on. You see, Claudia and I use to head to the club twice a week every week, slowly it change to twice a month, and now, once in 4 months?? LOL, how much we change.
My results for my finals just came out and I can say, I am officialy a fresh graduate!!!wohoooo! And not to forgot to rest, 'WE ARE FINALLY GRADUATES!!'
Leaving for Melbourne tmrw, can't wait. Spending Christmas for once away from home, wonder how is it going to be like. Oh well. Need to shop, got the feeling, I am aleady having two overweight luggaes, what more, when I leave Melbourne. Oh boy!!
Well, I got not much to updates, no pictures from the dinner, will uploads more picutres from Melbourne. Well guys, have a Happy Christmas, and a Happy New Year.
Entry title: TWO IS BETTER THAN ONE
Date / Time : Sunday, December 20, 2009 / 1:12 AM
I still wonder every minute, the words I read keeps coming back, and keeps me thinking, what does he really meant?
I still don't feel like I belong, I still don't feel like I was wanted, why? Is it because of what I know? Or maybe it's because what my heart is telling me is true? I try to deny what I know, maybe it was meant for something else, maybe it was suppose to mean something else and I am interpreting it the wrong way? But, the more deny, the more I reject myself, it keeps coming on stronger, I start to doubt I am strong enough to keep this feeling down, to suppress and hide my worries, try to keep my smiles up, try to not think about it, but when I am all alone, it starts flowing back into my head.
"What does he feels? What is he thinking? Does he feel like how I do? Does he know what how I feel? Will I ever feel like I am wanted?"
Questions keeps running back and ford, looking for answers, looking for that little comfort saying " Hey, I am still here, here for you, always"
Maybe one day, just maybe one day in the future, not too long, I will have that feeling, the feeling I have been looking for from him, maybe just one day I will, but how far long in the future? Will there be a future?
