Entry title:
Date / Time : Thursday, November 23, 2006 / 1:40 AM
AM I REALLY WHAT I AM???? Sigh...i wen out wit my fwens ytd at nite to yum cha..actuially dinner la..den we wen tot he park near by and drank..ididnt drink much la..coz i was rather moody and dat i haf not much mood to drink..dunno y oso..strange!!haha..anyways..i was tokin to my pet bro abt it..sigh..they say ive chnange...they say im nto as fun as i was b4...he say i keep everything insdie and always try to push eveyrything inside and he say that its made me diff person..i never tok much..i never crap much..i rather quiet...=(..i told him dat i haf many things in my mind now..especailly him..i just cant get him outa my mind..i just cant..i know..i cant continue to be like this..but i just cant smile like if im happy i smile...i cant go on wit my life knowing dat i love that person and i cant do anything abt it..i wnana another shot..shereen told me if i start nbow..i m gonna spilt up sonner or later coz both of us r goin our own separate ways..but i dun care...so long i spent my last days wit him..anything will do...but haiz..i dun even see ihm online..hes always busy..how am i gonna meet up wit him??got time for me...i think he has more time for his own fwens than me la......i just wanna let him noe dat i really wan him still...but i jhafta face the fact rite..he has his own life now...he has his own life...i cant go on every day like this..its just too hard...i just cant..i wanna forget abt him..i dun wnan drag my life like this..sean say in the future we whud pick up whr we left...future??honey if u dun notice we are both goin our own separate ways...ders not furure in us...everyone ask me to thinnk positive...but i cant think positive at all..i just cant..i cant face the fact alter on..if i hope hes coming back..in the end he doesnt..i just cant do it..im broken inside more and more everyday...i just feel so hopeless...everything i do reminds me of ihm..is this my own punishment??for burdening him last time??if its is...GOD i hope ure happy..coz its more painful than i can imagine...
i wen mv today..wen wit shereen...well..walk around den we ate in this korean food..i wont say it sarks i wont say its dmn nice...i got no description of it..,..hmmm...wen and watch step up..very good movie..u guys shud go watch it..the dance its just greeat...and the guy...fooh..all dat i wan...den sumthing in the show reminded of sean...yea...i was like...so sad....wtv la....den i wne home..jay pick me up..he got ntg to do...got him his pooh bear..gonn give his gf...sigh..50 bucsk fro one stupid shit...lol!!came home..pack my bags...leaving tmrw...i hope this will help me forget about sean la...start a new life..i just cant continue this any longer...wut he said in the email was much as painful as it is already..i dun hate him..i dun blame him..but yea...i hafta carry on rite???sigh...=(....
anyways...i cioz first la...continue packing..yup...no mood to do anyting but pack la..so cya!!!!
