WHAT IS THIS IM FEELING?

sigh...i hd a long chat wit my fwen today...farker..kena lecture like crap..but wut he say is very true...opportunity will come knocking on ur door once..is either u open it nad receive it..or not all all...but how whud u noe..its he rite time for the rite thing???

well..he say its a risk to take...'life is like dat..u cant predict wats coming..if the feeling is gone..then its gone..u cant force it to come back..'...

lol... stun me the most was wen he said this..

" the jen i noe u wont b wit him..but knowing u too well..u will notice u r having sumtng special till u lose it.."

i was like..WTF!!...but ..lol..come to think of it..its true u noe..i happen to sean...i remeber he sent me the msg..wen he told me he will give way to don..den t hit me..dat sean was the one i wan..not don...and in the end..still i screw it up...haha..lol..

but wut inside of me think...wut inside of me..is fear..wut if..wut if we grow apart suddenly..i mean..its pretty hard for us to meet up..he has classes same as i...it happen to me and yh..we grew apart coz he started coll..wut if it happen to me n him...im still scare to reach out..i still scare to come out from this hole...



at the same time..im sked im missing sumthing beautiful that is gonna happen..
but at the same time...i dun even noe this is rite???wut if god is testing me onli..wut...if god messing around wit me???....its not him i cant trust..its not him i dun believe..
its me dat i cant trust n believe..its me..coz i noe..i noe myself well..wut if this is just an infactuation.???wut if ths is just...sumhow i rebound again???i onno wut to think...wait..rebound..dun think so..coz i dun even feel the same way i felt for sean ..so yea..
but still...der y still yet alot of questions o b answer..and whr am i gonna look for this..

i just nid a sign dat im rdy for another shot.....im too afraid to be let dwn again..not by him..by my ownself..i seirously wannaa ask ..i seriously wanna make this good..make this real...but how??...can i love like how i did last time??

nvrm..im gonna go emo now!!..

btw way..i got my new hp already..so yea..!!cioz guys!!!






red!!!cool huh!!lol!!




my new baby!!yay!!!=)