Entry title:
Date / Time : Wednesday, March 21, 2007 / 7:32 AM
TELL ME YOU STILL DO..
sigh..sumtimes i feel im not good enuf for him.. sumtimes i feel like im just too sensitive..too paranoid....i take things the hard way..instead of over looking it..i dig deeper... yea..it may be a joke..small talk and all..but at time it does hurts alot..
i dunno y..im not that girl i use to be anymore..im not the girl dat happy go loucky girl anymore..these pass few weeks has been the worst week i haf..and i cant even complie my words to say wut happen.. we ve been arguing abt everything..from the simply things to the bigger things..from ntg..to something.. yea its chilish.. sumhow i just wish sumone chud just...he chud just now wut im goin tru..he talks the hwole nite abt his exes and all..and..den he tells me this girl hu use to flirt wit him is coming ..wut does e wans me to do..if i say sumthing good..den he give me a say i dun und..if i say sumtng bad..i may look like im inconsiderate..den wut do u wanna me to do..
at times the joke his fwens tok to him about..yea i noe..small things and all..its just a joke..but y asm i takin it so serioualy..i was never like this..i was never like this..
sum say im not opening my heart fully..i take things to seirously becoz i dun wann get hurt .. sum say i open my heart too much..which makes me worry more..
so wut is it??im soo tired..soo tired of fighting every single week..all i wan is just one week..just onwe week just epavce and quiet..just b together and let the others be.. i try to forsee wut happens..avoid things..but yet it still comes back to me..i try to leave it be..i try to leave small matter but still..it will tirb around and stab me
maybe tis true dat i m not ready..dat i cant let love in yet...dat im soo sked..too afraid to open my heart again..but..but deep inside i do really wanna open up...i really... but ..y am i still feeling so insecure abt everything?
