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Date / Time : Sunday, March 30, 2008 / 5:39 PM
ITS NEVER IN THE CARDS FOR U N ME

i always wonder why is there such people in the world that usses u wenever they need u..bitch abt things they dont like abt u even though u never do anything to them...im sick of those ppl...but how am i gonna avoid them?i go to work wit them..i see them most of the day..iuts soo fark up...i tot i chud count on thme as a fwen...but in the end..they bactstab u like ure no one..they treat u like ure dirt to them..i really feel like i dont belong...i really feel like i haf no one to fall back on...im all alone in this stupid place...i feel like..ever since i got here..its one big down turn for me..i try to b happy..try to b strong..but sumtimes..it reaches a limit..that i just cant stand it...i wnana run away n dissapear..i really do...i wake up/...tellin myself..its gonna b a good day..smile n haf fun...i come bck..feeling shytty..smoking my way out of misery...whr did i go wrong in life..wut did i do to them that they haf to b so mean to me...una bday is coming..and she invited everyone..n i didnt know at all..i haf to know from a collegue that i dun like...i was clueless..humilated in a way..and just..plain sick...i wanna change my day off so i wont haf the same day off as them..i do my grocerry shoppin now separated from them..coz i just cant stand them...they tell me they dun like this n dat..but yet...their action..are plain...stupid....different...

i just dun belong ere..i really dont..i wanna leave this place...i did think of stoppid work and go home..but i tell mysaelf this..ive done 3 months alrdy...wats another 3 months gonna do...well..oen side of my is telling me..its gonna torture u like hell..one side sayingf..its gonna b all better soon..i feel like im back inprimary sku again..dmn farkin childsish...

.....

and there was us..he told me..he wanna b wit me..buthe cant stand the gossip that will happen..but will our fwens say abt us...but i think to myself..y must u take in consideration abt them..its abt us..u n i....y must they come in?y??i hate being like this..feeling like i ahf sumthing but yet i dont...maye its not in the cards for us to b together...never will...maybe i shud seriouslyt let go..move on...yea i shud...i wanna end this feeling that i cant explain...

everything is not goin good..but yet im still ere...i'll try to b strong...to keep myself goin...but sumtimes i just wan god to give me a reason..y shud i keep goin...?is this any good...y me?
i just i will never know ...

all i know..i dont belong...i dont haf no one...i just wanna dissapear


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Jennifer aka jenz
21 years old.
25th oct.
petite.
party animal
Shoping
Le Cordon Bleu Year 3.

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