NEED SOMETHING NEW..

my life nowadays is like the world in black and white...everything is so predictable..everything is so straight forward...i dun find it any intresting as it was before...actually i havent find it as intresting for a very long time..

i sumhow realise ytd i was becoming dull..i was boring..i missed the old times when i use to be happy..fun....i use to haf the 'fark the world' attitude..and i would somehow want it back..i use to be wild..sponatenous ..yea i knw wild is not a good thing..but i like it u knw..something to look forward everyday..but now..i have this fear deep down insdie when i wanna do something..i haf this fear of how ppl will look at me..how they will judge me..and...i dunno..i just feel like it restricted me to do anything...and i think this happen ever since i came to aus...being in a foreign country puts me in this bubble whr i want ppl to see me good..especially ure in the hositality business as well...my! what have become of me..

i need something new..i need something out of the blue..i need something..sneeky and fun..i need a FLING!..lol..dats something you dont hear from me ...but...what the heck rite..i have to stop thinking of ppls feelings and start to think of mine..i have to stop caring of how they feel..and start making my life fun..clubbing is the onli thing that can let me relax..let my hair loose..but..i dunno..i still feel...its not enough..

what do i need..what do i need!!!

sighh..