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Date / Time : Tuesday, December 15, 2009 / 10:24 PM
A HELL OF A TRIP..Well guys, I am done with UNI. Two in half years of uni, I am finally a degree student. Two sweet miserable, blood trenching, stressful uni, and now i bid goodbye!lol.. Drama!
Its been a week since I finish my last paper, what have I been doing? Nope, did not party, nope did not go shopping, just, stayed at home and rest. Be a good girl! And yes, I know, that's not me, but, oh well. Worked for 2 days, Sat was the last, Monday bf n i went for a one night trip to the country side, was a sudden trip. Took us 4 hours to get there, on top of that, silly boy did a crazy 270 drift., OMG, for that duration, I was just, blank. Was so blur!! Dammit! Found a place to stay, he calles it the " Killer CabiN" You know those movies, where tourist stays in those crazy run down cabin, yea, that was how he describe it. The killer would just appear out of no where with a knife standing right in front of you when you are sleeping and start killing you. Hah! Too much crazy movies eh? =p...
Beach was nice, town was small, deserted, boring, but a day away from the city was pretty cool. Came back the next day, and did nothing. Was suppose to go cherry picking today, but the weather's crazy! 39 god dmn degrees outside! How the fuck people survice in this god damn weather man!
Anyways, shall upload the pics, facebook has already have them..
Another one week and I will be heading to Melb for Christmas and of course, SHOPPINGGG!! Really cant wait!.................................................................... At times I wonder what is he thinking, sometimes sitting next to him, I feel so distant, and I ask myself, " Has his heart change? Is he getting bored of me?" Question starts coming into my head, and then, suddenly he can just turn it around and show me he still wants this, but just for that spilt second, it goes back to hell again. So, am I thinking too much ? Or what I am feeling is true?
I remember someone said, " Sometimes holding something too tight, you will eventually suffocate it, and it will eventually die" but then again, how much is too much?
It's been months, yet sometimes I fail to understand him, I still find that he is still not letting me in, that he puts a small line between me n him, and I can't shake the feeling that I am into this more than he does, it just scares me so that I might not just be someone important to him. Though he does tell me things I wanna hear, I still have this thought he might be confuse, that he doesn't know what he really wants, there is no clear path or clear image of what he desire most, is he still here cause he is alredy here, does he know what I am doing for this relationship, does he even care? all these always linger in my mind, and it is really annoying,
I know I think a lot, but the fact that I don' want this to fail, I think I do have the right to think, then here comes the big question
" Why Am I Feeling Like This??"
I kinda lost myself, somehow looking back at how I am before and now, that small part of me has change, I don't know who am I anymore at times, Ive change myself and mold myself so much in this rship, at times I just wonder will it do any worth? Will it be different this time? Hoping is one thing, reality is another.
So, well I can say one thing, I want this which means I want this to work out, which means I will do anything to make this work. The End!
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Jennifer aka jenz
21 years old.
25th oct.
petite.
party animal
Shoping
Le Cordon Bleu Year 3.
A little bit of me for you =)
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Bitch all you want here.
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